Getting to the Heart of the Matter
Have you ever had one of those weeks when you thought that everything was flowing beautifully in life, you were feeling happy and then BANG out of the blue you were stopped dead in your tracks?
That has been my week this week.
Life was good, or so I thought. Monday afternoon I started to feel a little strange, a little unwell, not quite right.
Tuesday morning I felt pretty much the same, still went to the gym all the while thinking this would make a great post about pushing through and keeping going, no matter what.
Later on that morning I had a few errands to run and was home by lunch time, still feeling blah, so decided to rest up a little. Rest a little to me was sitting up in bed with my laptop, working.
With my usual posts on my Facebook page complete, I went to the kitchen to top up my glass of water and felt a pain in my chest. Not a small fleeting pain, one that kept growing in intensity. Within a few moments the pain went through to my back, ok, I thought you have my FULL attention. Sit down Annette and all will be well and it will leave.
But it didn’t.
The pain grew, until it felt like my chest and back were being crushed together. I fleetingly thought about calling an Ambulance and immediately dismissed the thought as a silly idea, what if someone really needed one while it was attending to me?
So I waited for the pain to recede, you know, so I could get on with my day, because I’m pretty busy and I had things to do, things that couldn’t wait!
But it didn’t.
By this stage I was pretty worried and it was around about this time my feet appeared to take over. They lead me to my keys, wallet, phone, water bottle and marched me down to my car where I drove to the nearest Doctor’s surgery.
The receptionist took one look at me and ushered me through to the back where I could lie down. A nurse fell in by our side as we walked along the short corridor, asking questions and immediately hooked me up to a BP and ECG machine. Relax the nurse told me.
Now I don ‘t know if you have ever tried to relax while an oxygen mask was across your face, a BP cuff squeezing the top of your arm and a screen beeping away next to you, I found it a little difficult. Eventually of course I did, but in that time from the first pain in my chest until right then, I experienced one of those “life flashing before your eyes” moments that many people speak about.
An Ambulance was called (the Paramedic quietly read the riot act to me!) and I was taken to hospital to see if I’d had a heart attack. Pushed, prodded and tested for 24 hrs, I won’t bore you with the details. I am ecstatic to report that no, I didn’t have a heart attack, in fact the test revealed a big fat nothing! Which is good, right?
Except I haven’t experienced pain like that before and as I had just been reassured with a variety of tests that I was in fact fighting fit, what else could it be?
“A medical mystery,” my son offered up, in a conversation afterwards and we both laughed, because we knew that wasn’t true.
Here’s what I believe it was and why.
Many years ago I lost complete faith in the mainstream medical model and since then always seek alternative therapies, unless I needed a limb stitched back on or think I am having a heart attack 🙂 My focus completely changed after my Dad was given a clean bill of health and told by his Doctor that he’d never seen him so healthy. 10 days later he died from a heart attack. How could that Doctor had it SO WRONG?
Since then I’ve sought my own answers and my own treatment, believing totally in self care and being responsible for my own health and well being. I’ve read alternative thoughts, proven methods, food related healing and energetic body healings. I’ve visited massage therapists, Homeopaths, Naturopaths, Acupuncturists, Kinesiologists, Herbalists, engaged therapists and mentors. Attended conferences, seminars, taken several courses and read many books. Why? Because I believe we create our own reality, period.
Our lives how they are, what they show us, what works, what doesn’t work, what we like and what we don’t like are ALL happening because of ourselves and our choices. Not anyone or any other thing – life isn’t happening TO us. We are MAKING it happen through how we think, our beliefs and what we do.
What does this mean for me in relation to my fake heart attack? I say fake heart attack tongue-in-cheek, in reality it’s a wake up call. “WAKE UP!!! HELLO!!! Do I have your attention now???” That’s what I believe my inner being, my soul was saying to me. “Have a look inside, there is work to be done.” Emotional pain manifesting as physical pain to grab my attention.
It worked! Just like a mainstream medical model there will be protocols to observe, pills to swallow and rest to be taken. I need to heed some of my own advice that I so freely give to and encourage other to do.
Manifesting in my chest region, my heart chakra lets me know it’s time for love, self love, time to look at boundaries, time to look at heart centered activities, time to put myself first before all others and all other things. Self love and self nurturing is so very important as just like a bank account, if we don’t make deposits regularly then all withdrawals will leave us depleted and overdrawn. I was overdrawn and in the red, time to rebuild, renew and replenish.
Have you had a time in your life when you’ve received a wake up call?